Posted in Friday Rambles

Hindsight’s 20/40

((Today’s “Friday Ramble” is less of a ramble, and more of a poem.  I had some metaphors and words rolling around in my head, and thought they would fit better this way.  I love the succinctness of poetry!))

 

Looking back, I see shapes

And not the little details

Overall trends, and in-the-ends

While finer lines have blurred

 

The way I was raised,

How others behaved,

Near misses and near hits.

My own mistakes, humility

Driving me to this:

 

Losing my vision, forgetting the things

That put me on my high horse

Far-sighted eyes, the gift of age

Compromise, to set the stage

For “West from East,”

Far side of the sea –

Forgiveness, they say.

The very best way.

 

A little bit blind

A lot forgetful

Far sighted, and deaf, and possibly dumb

After it all, I’m thankful

 

What about you?  As you get older, do you find yourself losing your hearing, vision, or memory – literally or metaphorically?  Is it becoming easier or harder to forgive?  I would love to hear your ideas in the comments section below.

Warm wishes,

Lisa

Posted in Monday Meditations

Papa’s Delight

“The Lord is my light and my salvation – whom shall I fear?  The Lord is the stronghold of my life – of whom shall I be afraid?  When the wicked advance against me to devour me, it is my enemies and my foes who will stumble and fall.  Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear; though war break out against me, even then I will be confident.” Psalm 27:1-3

“I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.  Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.” Psalm 27:13-14

“Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37: 4

Sometimes, it feels like the odds are stacked against us.  Circumstances, or people, are standing in the way of good things happening in our lives.  Do we dare even hope for anything?  Or do we just hang on as best we can until we get to Heaven?

Yes, the Bible promises that we will have trials and hardships in our lives.  But it is also biblical to hope for the goodness of the Lord, “in the land of the living” – that is, in this life.

God has made us with unique desires.  He knows what it is that we are longing for, and has the keys to our true fulfillment.  One of these keys is offered in Psalm 37:4: “Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.”

How may we delight ourselves in the Lord?  One way is to believe that He truly loves us, including our specific qualities, which He has designed.

To do this, we may simply ask God in prayer: “What do you love about me?”

Perhaps something will pop into your mind.  If it does, try not to judge whatever it is, and simply jot it down.

Here is an example of what came to mind for me: Creative energy.

The second question I asked Him was, “How may I use this for good?”

And the answer came: Prepare for Christmas – shop for gifts; wrap gifts; bake cookies; decorate.  And keep writing.  Anything and everything.

This answer came with an addendum: Do it for me.  I imagined God as a proud Papa, beaming over something His child had created or done for Him:

Look at this!  My daughter made it.  She made it for me.

“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward.  It is the Lord Christ you are serving.” Colossians 3:23-24

It is so easy for us to forget, when circumstances and people come against us, that God loves us deeply, as a good Father loves His kids.  But it is tapping into this love, and what it means for us personally, that will fill our lives with the joy that we long for so deeply.

Response

Heavenly Father, please forgive me, for doubting that you love me and desire good for me.  Help me to find joy in doing the things you made me to do.  May I present them to you, that I would see you beam with love for me.

Thank you for affirming me, Lord, and helping me to delight in you.  Amen.

Posted in Friday Rambles

Moms are People Too!

Recently, I took a break from household and childminding duties to watch an educational video about music therapy.  It felt like a breath of fresh air.  Not because of any ground-breaking content, but because it had been so long since I was in my ‘element.’  So long since I had heard someone speaking my language – talking about the area I had studied and worked in.  I felt a scholarly and professional comradery with the video-taped members of the audience, despite my vast removal from them, as a stay-at-home-mom who no longer works in that field.

After watching the speech and taking notes on it, I felt as though something had come alive in me again.  Something I had been ignoring.  But why had I neglected that part of myself for so long?

Having unique interests, and allowing yourself time and freedom to explore them, is a part of what it means to have healthy personal boundaries.  A person with healthy boundaries will also:

  • Have their own opinions, without fearing what others will think – and will respect the rights of others to do the same.
  • Have a unique identity (sense of self) that is not consumed by any one particular role, or person.
  • Know that their value is innate, and not dictated by what they do or how other people view them.
  • See their personality as valid and overall good, rather than berating themselves (for being too shy and quiet, perhaps; or, too loud and exhuberant).  They will also enjoy and respect the personalities of other people.
  • Be aware of their own feelings, and take personal responsibility for them.  (See this post.)

In short, a person with healthy boundaries will respect him or herself, and also be respectful of others.

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Cultivating a healthy sense of personal boundaries is a skill that does not come naturally to everyone.  Perhaps you grew up in an enmeshed family, where these unique aspects of who you are were not nurtured.  Instead, you were expected to change or hide them in order to please other members of the family.

If this is the case, the same tendencies may continue into adulthood.  For moms of young children (a role that can be all-consuming), the topic of personal boundaries may be of particular importance.  I’ve heard moms say that they have forgotten who they are.  I would tend to identify with this statement.  Our responsibility to love and care for our children is essential for their well-being.  However, it is better (for ourselves and our children) that we also retain some sense of self, apart from being moms.  In this way, we will avoid using our kids to meet our own emotional needs.  We will also show them the example of a parent who enjoys her life, is able to care about others, and makes unique and positive contributions within the family and beyond.  That is an example I would like my kids to follow!

We’re allowed to have individual interests and opinions.  We’re allowed to say ‘no,’ and ‘stop.’  We can be ourselves: our personalities are valid and acceptable just as they are.  We each have failings but are not condemned by them, because we can receive forgiveness and are able to grow in character.

To develop this in my own life, I am becoming more aware of my wants, likes, and dislikes.  I even express them verbally from time to time.  I’m trying to be ok with standing in a crowd.  (Even if I feel awkward or funny looking.)  I’m researching educational and career options within the realities of my life.  I’m trying not to berate myself for the things I cannot do.  Rather, I am focusing on the things I do well.

For whatever reason, God wanted one of me.  So here I am.

What have you lost yourself in?  If you are a mom, how do you retain your sense of identity?  I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments section below.

Note:  If you are interested in learning more about personal and relational boundaries, I would recommend consulting the book “Boundaries” by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend.  It is the source of much of what I have learned on the topic.

Warm wishes,

Lisa